Mentorship
The Subtle Art of Shaping the Future
Let’s begin with a story …
Should I stay, or should I go?
I was 24-years-old and on my second deployment to Afghanistan. I had been a soldier for just over 3 years and spent 2 of those deployed, first as an Infantry Platoon Leader with 1-32 Infantry Regiment, 10th Mountain Division, then as the Battalion S-4 (think supply chain manager).
I loved being a soldier and a leader of soldiers. It was hands down, the most rewarding and humbling experience of my life. To lead a group of people, into some of the dangerous situations imaginable, who volunteered for it, in a time of war … and to do it at such a young age … it’s an experience most people will never have.
As a Purple Heart and Bronze Star w/ V recipient, I was no stranger to the riggers of combat, but that never gave me pause. As long as I could serve on (or at least close to) the front lines, I wanted in. I wanted to have an impact, to be value added to the mission, to my unit, and to the solders I led.
As soon as that was no longer an option, or as soon as I no longer perceived that to be the case, I was going to get out. I never intended to make the Army a career after all.
Uncle Sam commissioned me into the Infantry (my first choice) but did it as something they call a branch detail. I was allowed to serve in, or was detailed to, the Infantry for the first 4 years of my career, but once I made Captain, I had a decision to make. I would transition to the Air Defense Artillery corps, try to transfer to another branch, or I could resign my commission. Defenders as they call themselves are critical to our national defense and are no less valuable than any other soldier, but it wasn’t what I wanted to do. So as a brand new Captain getting ready to re-deploy back home and start that transfer, I decided to resign my commission.
I became a bullet point on a slide during the next Brigade Command and Staff meeting. Captain Poe was submitting his unqualified resignation.
The next week our Brigade Support Battalion Commander … lets call him Lieutenant Colonel (LTC) H … came to my outpost and asked to talk. It was a relatively short conversation and went something like:
“I saw you submitted your resignation.”
“Yes, sir, I did.”
“Why?”
“I don’t plan to go into Air Defense.”
“That’s a shame. You know, you’re not screwing up this S-4 thing too badly, what about a career in Logistics?”
“I checked sir, the branch is closed. It isn’t accepting branch transfers.”
“There are always ways.”
I was fortunate enough to serve under some good leaders in my career, but this was the first time someone from outside my chain of command had taken a specific interest in it. I had worked with LTC H for about a year at this point and highly respected him as a leader. But he wasn’t my commander, or even in the same battalion. If I had to translate the professional relationship into a civilian equivalent, I was an internal customer of his.
The conversation continued for a bit. We discussed what a career in Army logistics might look like and how my experience, skills and strengths might translate into that career path. Looking back, this was the first (of many) mentorship sessions I had with LTC H, even if I didn’t know it at the time.
Fast forward a few months, I’m back home on leave. I know that today is the day the Army Human Resources Command (Army HR) is going to release the list of people who were approved for branch transfers.
I was shopping with a friend when my BlackBerry (you read that right) went off. My name wasn’t on the list. I was disappointed, but I knew it was a long shot and had already prepared myself to resign.
LTC H happened to be on leave at the same time so I called him to give him the news, and to thank him for his efforts. He said wanted to check on something and that he would call me back. A few minutes later that BlackBerry buzzed a second time. It was a new email, this one reading …
“Captain Poe,
Your request for a branch transfer to Logistics has been approved.
Standby for orders.
Sincerely,
HRC”
Not usually how HRC communicates these types of things, but it seems LTC H made a phone call on my behalf.
In that moment, he reshaped my career and my expectations for it. Not only would I spend another 6 years in uniform going onto Company Command and ultimately being selected for promotion to Major, it ended up completely redirecting my post-Army career path for the better. Its been 15-years and I still work in the supply chain and logistics field. I’ve held P&L responsibility over large scale supply chain operations, and even led transformation projects that had positive impacts on multi-national supply chain organizations.
And to think, 15-years ago I was preparing to leave the Army with a few deployments and some leadership experience under my belt … but with no clear path in mind.
LTC H would spend the next several years as a formal mentor, someone I could call on when I needed advice and guidance for career defining decisions, or simply when I wanted to run an idea by someone.
Ironically, then Colonel (COL) H was in town nearly 7 years later when I was transitioning out of the military for real this time. We met for dinner. We caught up on each others careers and lives, but he didn’t try and talk me into staying in the Army. Circumstances had changed, my goals and priorities had changed, and he knew that. He simply wished me luck in my civilian career and said if I ever needed anything, to not hesitate to reach out.
The Value Mentors Bring
Having matured a bit professionally, I came to realize that sadly, my experience is not as common as it should be. Having a mentor, someone from outside our org charts who can help challenge the way we think of ourselves and our careers, or simply offer guidance when navigating the highs and lows of our professional journey, is invaluable.
It’s not the same as having boss, even a good one. Your boss is usually going to frame the conversation from the company’s perspective, and may even have a set of policies and procedures they’re directed to follow with regard to talent development. Don’t get me wrong, a good boss, or a good structured developmental program is just as rare as a good mentor, and if you are lucky enough to have both with your current employer, great!
But a mentor usually isn’t bound by those same policies and procedures and can really help you recognize and explore opportunities you may not even know are out there - whether within your current organization or elsewhere. A good mentor will help you realize your potential and achieve your goals. A really good mentor will recognize that potential and push you further than you thought you could go.
Not All Mentorships are the Same
My first mentor was someone who stuck with me for years. Part of that is just the nature of leadership in the military, I think. Sadly, we no longer keep in touch, but as I explained above, he was instrumental in helping me achieve the career I have today.
I’ve been fortunate enough to have one or two more of those types of professional relationships throughout my career, but good mentors are not always easy to find. I’ve had a lot of great bosses, but those relationships are largely transactional. They’re invested in your success, because your success reflects well on their success. Which is absolutely fine! I’d even argue it’s how things should be.
Mentors can be transactional as well, there is nothing wrong with that. Personally, I prefer a long-term relationship with my mentor, someone who can really get to know me and what I want to accomplish in life, and help chart a course. But sometimes all I need is a fresh perspective. If you’re in the job market, looking for a career change, or just want to run a new idea by someone who has been there and get their feedback, mentors can help.
Whether you’re looking for a long-term mentor or something more transactional, organizations like Mentorverse.io can help. Are you an entry level software engineer looking to get into a company like Amazon? Finding a mid to senior level engineer who did it and is eager to help others find their way isn’t a bad place to start. Transitioning out of the military and trying to figure out that second career? Why wouldn’t you want to talk to someone who has already done it, and built a successful civilian career?
What to Look For in a Mentor
Asked another way, what qualities make an effective mentor? Well, to name a few …
Relevant Experience: To be effective, mentors must have experience in the field you want to pursue. A mentor can truly care about their mentee, but if they don’t know what it’s like to work in big tech, and they’re trying to mentor someone eager to land a tech role with a FAANG company, they’re probably not going to be very effective.
Passionate about Developing People: You can’t “fake it until you make it” as a mentor. If helping people achieve their goals isn’t something you’re passionate about, again, you’re probably not going to be very effective.
Strong Communication Skills: Effective communicators are usually better mentors. That doesn’t mean that mentors need to be great orators, just that they need to be able to effectively communicate an idea or thought in a clear and concise way so there aren’t any questions about what is being asked or what the recommendation is.
Engagement and Accountability: Good mentors are regularly engaged and will hold you accountable to following on key tasks or milestones associated with achieving your goals.
Active Listening: If this list were ranked from most important to least, I would probably list this at the top. Instead I will close with it. A productive mentorship session isn’t ever about the mentor. Mentors should listen, ask questions and seek to understand you and your goals before they consider offering advice and guidance. Otherwise, they risk leading you down a path you THINK you want to pursue rather than the one you do, or should.
How to get Started
In the case of LTC H, I was fortunate enough to find a mentor through my organization, but even he wasn’t in a position to provide advice on everything I needed throughout my career. When I finally decided to leave the military, I sought professional help and was able to successfully navigate an unfamiliar landscape, landing a great job in my career field, and I’ve only grown from there.
If you haven’t checked it out already, I recommend visiting Mentorverse.io. There are plenty of mentors on the site who offer free sessions and are happy to sit down and get to know you to see if you are a good fit for one another. (Myself included. Just sign up for a coffee talk!)
And please, don’t forget to subscribe to our Substack below! We’re planning on releasing weekly content offering professional advice and updates to the Mentorverse.io platform.
This was a powerful read. It made me realize the importance of finding a mentor who truly invests in your growth, not just someone who goes through the motions. Thanks for the insight—definitely something I’ll keep in mind as I start looking for a mentor.
Nice read hope your doing great